Archive for the ‘the marriage you've always wanted’ Category

June Blog for Books Winner

July 7, 2009

Congratulations to Tammie our June Blog for Books winner! She has won a copy of The Family You’ve Always Wanted. To find out more about Tammie check out her blog:

Special Blog for Books announcement: Keep up the commenting for your chance to win The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted coming out next month. Our July Blog for Books winner will receive 2 copies (1 for a friend) of Gary’s newly updated book. Remember the more you comment the better your chances are to be selectd the winner.

Money! An Asset or Liability?

June 5, 2009

Sometimes it seems as if the more we have, the more we argue about what we have. The poorest of couples in America have abundance compared to the masses of the world’s population. I am convinced that the problem does not lie in the amount of money that a couple possesses, but in their attitude toward money and the manner in which they handle it.

I think a lot of us have an idea in mind of what the perfect home, perfect car, perfect job that seems to be the benchmark of what would make us happy. We get there and then realize, “No, that not quite enough.” Author Jeanette Clift George has said, “The great tragedy in life is not in failing to get what you go after. The great tragedy in life is in getting it and finding out it wasn’t worth the trouble.”

When life focuses on getting more money, we have the wrong focus. Our marital relationship and our relationship with God are far more important than how much money we have. Getting our priorities straight is the first step in making money an asset to marriage rather than a liability.
What ways can money be a liability to your marriage? Discuss what you think it looks like when money is an asset to your marriage.

You Complete Me

April 20, 2009

Sure it’s a cheesy line from a movie, but how often do we actually feel this way about our spouse? There should be in any marriage a oneness that is evident in all areas of life.

When God said of Adam and Eve, “The two shall become one flesh,” he was not speaking only of physical oneness. In marriage, all of life is to be shared, and communication is the vehicle by which we attain this kind of intimacy.

If we don’t feel that oneness with our spouse maybe we aren’t communicating with them the way we ought to be. We cannot read each other’s minds. If your spouse is to know your thoughts, feelings, and desires, then you have to communicate them. A marriage without communication is like trying to win a million dollars without lifelines.

It may seem silly but even talking about the mundane can improve communication. The easiest level of communication is simply sharing day-to-day events. You are one! Don’t you want to know what your other half did that day?

Questions are so important for communication. If a husband comes home and his wife doesn’t simply ask, “How did things go?” she may communicate, “I don’t care how things went.” If her husband never inquires about her day, she may feel rejected or unloved. Asking questions about the day-to-day events is the easiest and best place to begin. And, it will make communicating easier over all, especially when it comes to discussing important things.

What are some other questions that you could ask besides the age-old, “How was your day?”

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

April 10, 2009

“Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church…”

In the contemporary world, perhaps nowhere has confusion reigned more than in the area of the husband’s role in marriage. On one extreme there’s the dominant husband who makes all decisions and informs the wife as to what they are going to do. On the other extreme is the husband who expects the wife to support the family and make all the major decisions. But, there’s a healthy middle—the husband is a responsible, dependable, leading but non-domineering. A husband who is deeply committed to his wife and family.

Leadership means communication, not control. The husband is to love and provide for his wife as Christ loves and cares for His Church. But how can the husband do that if he doesn’t know her needs? We must take the initiative in asking questions and listening in order to “know” our wives and thus be able to meet their needs. If God invites us to come to Him with our needs, and make our requests known, why shouldn’t the husband do the same?

Being a loving leader requires us to serve whomever we lead. To put them at the top of our priority list. So, the husband who loves his wife will make his wife his number one priority. Throughout the day he will ask himself the question: What can I do for her that will enhance her life? He will pray for her daily and commend her for her accomplishments. Last week Gia commented that to show love for her husband meant that she prays for him. It is equally as important for husbands to be lifting their wives up in prayer as well.

As Christ intercedes for us and showers us with daily blessings, so the husband as a loving leader will shower his wife with actions and words which say, “I love you.” And she? She will follow his leadership.

Today there are two sets of questions:

For the Men-
What ways have you been a loving leader, and what are some ways you want to improve in this area? What could your wife do to help you be a better loving leader?

For the Women-
Submission is a taboo word, why does it bother you so much? What does this word look like in your marriage? What ways do you need to improve in submitting to your husband, and how could he help you with that?

In-Laws: God’s Blessing

November 24, 2008

Your mother-in-law is not your enemy! Our parents and parents-in-law are a part of our lives. But whether we’re newlyweds or an ‘old married couple,’ how should we relate to in-laws? Actually, we need one another. Mutual freedom and mutual respect should be the guiding principle for parents and their married children. What guidelines does the Bible give for in-law relationships? Two principles must be kept in balance: leaving parents and honoring parents.

In Genesis chapter 2 we read, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Marriage involves a change of allegiance. Before marriage, our allegiance is to our parents, but after marriage it is to our spouse. We must cut the ‘apron strings.’

Don’t disregard your father-in-law’s wisdom. God often speaks through fathers-in-law and mothers-in-law. They are older and may have more wisdom than we. The mature husband and wife will consider carefully the advice of parents and in-laws. At the same time, you are not to put the advice of parents above the desires of your spouse. It’s the biblical concept of “leaving parents” and “cleaving to your spouse” that allows you to establish a new family unit under God.

How do you honor your parents after you are married, without allowing them to control you? As long as they live it is right to honor them. Sometimes we do not respect the lifestyle of our parents or in-laws. But we must respect their position. In the providence of God, they gave us life. For that we respect them. Honor does not mean that you must do everything your parent’s request. Honor is seeking to do what is best for them.

Honoring parents can get sticky because there are two sets of them. The wife’s mother wants them home for Christmas Eve. The husband’s mother wants them home for Christmas dinner. The principle is equality. In Romans 2:11 the Bible says, “God does not show favoritism.” We must seek to treat both sets of in-laws with equality. This may mean Christmas here this year and Christmas there next year. The purpose is to honor and show respect for them equally. Having done so, you have followed the biblical injunction: Honor your father and your mother.
Have you struggled to honor your in-laws? If so, how? How have you and your spouse dealt with these struggles?