Archive for the ‘commitment’ Category

Is it a Driver or a Wedge?

August 6, 2009

Okay so this post has nothing to do with Golf, sorry if I got any of you excited. But it does have to do with driving and wedges. Getting rid of potential wedges in your relationship is crucial to the health of the marriage. A relationship wedge is anything that has the potential to drive you and your spouse apart. The first and most dangerous wedge is pride–specifically, the pride that keeps you from apologizing. Pride turns simple misunderstandings into long-term problems.

Other potential wedges include negative input from friends and family, overbooked schedules, and indifference. You probably won’t be able to remove all the wedges from your relationship, but you can remove enough to give your love a chance to grow.

Another way to create a better climate is to look for positive things in your spouse. Your spouse may have traits and hidden talents that you knew nothing about before you were married. Look for these things and compliment your spouse. You can create a better atmosphere if you use positive words. Find the goodness in your spouse and proclaim it loudly, especially in front of other people.

Have you ever publicly acknowledged and encouraged your spouse? Has your spouse ever done this for you? Share your story, or creative ideas on how to do this in the future.

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What’s in it for me?

June 22, 2009

Unconditional love means that we love, and thus seek the best for the other person, regardless of their response to us. We receive this kind of love all the time. God always bestows 

(photo courtesy of http://www.sacredotter.com/)

His love on us unconditionally and His challenge to us in marriage is to love each other like He loves us. This kind of love focuses on meeting the needs of the other person. It is the greatest gift you can give your spouse. It is not based on their behavior, but on your desire to love them as Christ loved you.

In a healthy marriage, we will actually give unconditional love before we realize we’re receiving it. Far too many people are waiting for their spouse to make the first move. Someone has got to take the lead. Why not you?

Let me give you a suggestion. Say to your spouse, “I’ve been thinking about our marriage, and I realize that I have loved you conditionally. I think love should do better than that, and I want to make a fresh commitment to our marriage. I am going to ask you to give me one suggestion each week on what I can do to make your life better. Whatever you suggest, I’m going to do my best to do it.”

photo courtesy of: by joemess from austin source Wikimedia and http://acobox.com

Still want to understand love better?  Read 1 Corinthians 13, slowly, carefully and out loud.