Archive for March, 2009

Blog for Books!

March 26, 2009

Congratulations to Cathrine, our March Blog for Books contest winner! Cathrine won a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book, The Five Languages of Apology. To find out more about our winner, take a look at her blog:

Keep commenting, we will choose a new winner next month!

Better to Give….

March 23, 2009

When was the last time you gave a gift to your spouse for no reason at all? The last time you just showed them appreciation for who they are?

Gifts are visual symbols of love. Most wedding ceremonies include the giving and receiving of rings.

The person performing the ceremony says, “These rings are outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual bond that unites your two hearts in love that has no end.”

This isn’t just meaningless rhetoric. It is a significant truth – symbols have emotional and sentimental value. Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others. That’s why when you give a gift to some people, they cry or get really excited. It speaks more deeply than words, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.

Is your spouse a gifts person? Give them one gift this week that will make their day, something small that will speak to them. Then encourage others with your story, post a comment telling what you gave them, and how they responded.

Speaking Love through Physical Touch

March 16, 2009

Keeping emotional love alive in a marriage makes life much more enjoyable. How do we keep love alive after the “in-love” emotions have evaporated? I believe it is by learning to speak each other’s “love language.” This week we will focus on physical touch.

For some husbands, when they hear the words physical touch, they immediately think of sex. But sexual intercourse is only one of the dialects of this love language. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch.
Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship. Do you know how to speak this love language? To the spouse whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than your tender touches. You may give them words of affirmation or gifts, but nothing communicates love like physical touch.

Touches may be explicit and call for your full attention, such as a back rub or sexual foreplay. They can be implicit and require only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. Kiss when you get in the car. It may greatly enhance your travels. Give a hug before you go shopping. You may hear less griping when you return. Remember, you are learning to speak a new language.

When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. This is especially true if the primary love language of your spouse is physical touch. You may say, “What if I’m just not a toucher? I didn’t grow up in a touchy-feely family.” The good news is that you can learn to speak this love language. It can begin with a pat on the back, or putting your hand on their leg as you sit together on the couch.

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? During these times, we need to feel loved more than anything. All marriages will experience crises. Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your wife in a time of crisis is to love her. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. In a time of crisis, a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Physical touch is a powerful love language.

Have you ever had a time when you were in need of a hug? What do you do to let others know that you need a gesture of physical touch? What do you do if your spouse’s love language is physical touch, but you’re not “touchy-feely”?

The Marriage Turnaround

March 2, 2009

On last week’s Building Relationships…

Are you a hard worker? How about in your marriage?  This week we learned that the key to the turning your marriage around is a willingness to work!

Dr. Chapman and guest Mitch Temple, Director of the Marriage Department at Focus on the Family, give their insight into how to keep struggling marriages alive.  And not just that make it thrive.  

In his counseling office, Mitch noticed certain patterns of attitudes and thinking within failing marriages. He discusses common marriage myths, and how changing your attitude can change your marriage.

Mitch gives a fresh perspective to the myopic marriage. The tips in his new book, The Marriage Turnaround, can help resuscitate a dying marriage. This book teaches a couple how to end their destructive patterns and practices–to discard the old myths and embrace new truths.